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The Link Between Social Anxiety and Perfectionism

henkelwine Health & Wellness

Loads of folks deal with social fear and trying to be flawless, and these two head troubles can get all mixed up. They're different sure, but they can also play off each other and start a loop that's tough to escape. If you wanna get better at handling your headspace, it's super important to get how these two tangle together. Let’s dig into how being scared of people stuff ties in with the need to nail everything, and I’ll show you some real-world ways to tackle both.

So, What's this Social Scaredy-Cat Thing?

This is nothing but social phobia or social anxiety, which is sheared into extreme fears of being judged or embarrassed. Such stress gives the body reactions like sweating and shaking and the heart pounding hard. Plus, they often tend to panic or become anxious just thinking about events that are to come. Social Anxiety does not affect all the people in the same way; for some, it is just a minor inconvenience; for others, it can disrupt work and studies and can create problems - hanging out with friends.

So, Like, What's Perfectionism All About?

If you're a perfectionist, you're all about the highest standards and do everything possible for perfect execution. Pursuing excellence is okay to some extent; after a while, it makes you feel stressed and bummed out, and you end up being way too tough on yourself. Perfectionists never cut themselves any slack; they fear that failing even to an infinitesimal degree would mean they are failures or would lose people's love for them. It is just this unending need to be perfect in everything you do, and this can really tire you out, or you can feel like you are not good enough.

The Link Between Social Fears and Being a Perfectionist

Though social fear stuff and being a perfectionist aren't the same, they tend to tag team and boost the trouble they cause. Check out a few ways they're tight:

1. The Dread of Being Judged and Criticized

People with social anxiety and those who aim for perfection mostly worry about others judging them . Those who fear social situations worry others will see them in a bad light. Perfectionists sweat over the thought that their efforts won't hit the mark in work, school, or while talking to people, and they'll get critiqued because of it. This scary thought of judgment makes them skip out on stuff, which can make them feel lonely and even more stressed.

2. Shooting for the Stars in Social Settings

If you've got social anxiety, chatting with other folks might freak you out thinking you gotta act all "perfect." Believing every slip-up will make you the center of attention and embarrass you turns the anxiety dial higher. And if you're the type who feels like you gotta nail every social thing , well, that's another heap of stress right there. Trying to hit that mark of perfection just keeps the cycle of worry spinning.

3. Self-Criticism and Negative Self-Talk

Folks with perfectionism often beat themselves up too much. They zero in on their slip-ups and flaws, convinced they can't ever measure up. Their way of scolding themselves can stir up a heap of social nerves. Let's say a person's got social anxiety and thinks their chat at a party wasn't up to snuff. They might keep hashing it out in their head, fussing over their mix-ups or times they might've come off wrong. This kind of downer thinking can crank up the anxiety to the next level causing them to dodge hanging out in the future.

4. Being Scared to Flop Socially

People who strive for perfection and those dealing with social nerves sweat over messing up. If you're a perfectionist, you might freak out over slipping up or saying something off in a crowd. That worry can crank up the anxiety and make you super aware of yourself so you start dodging hangouts and stuff. For the social anxiety crowd, the screw-up dread is all about getting side-eye or the cold shoulder from people. Both bunches think one goof could blow everything up, and that's why they often skip out on social stuff.

5. Shying Away from Hanging Out

People who struggle with social anxiety and the need to be perfect often dodge situations that could make them nervous. If you get social butterflies, you might skip out on parties, hangouts, or just regular chit-chat. Perfectionists might duck out of these things because they're scared they won't live up to their own tough standards when with others. Dodging these situations though just keeps feeding the worry and the need to be spot-on, since it stops you from learning to deal with it or from feeling more at ease when you're around people.

Breaking Free from Social Butterflies and the Need to Be Perfect

To snap out of the loop with social nerves and wanting everything just right, you've gotta spot the link between them. Check out these down-to-earth suggestions to get a handle on both:

1. Take On Negative Thinking

Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT for short knows how to tackle perfectionism and the jitters you get when you're around people. It trains folks to spot those pesky negative thoughts and swap 'em out for some that make sense and don't knock you down. Say you're sweating about flubbing your words and thinking everyone's gonna ditch you for it. CBT's like, "Hey, chill out. Everyone trips up now and then, and it's not like one goofball moment is the whole you."

2. Learn to Expect Stuff That Makes Sense

Perfectionists often aim for goals that are just too high to reach. It's good to aim high, but it's also key to pick goals you can hit. Kick it off by getting that being less than perfect is fine. Break it down into tinier easier chunks when you're chilling with others and ease up on yourself if you slip up. This approach eases the stress and can make hanging out with people way less scary.

3. Show Yourself Some Kindness

People who strive always for perfection and those who tend to be very shy saddest in most instances prove hard on themselves. You know you've been starting to be kinder to yourself when you goof up. Well, self-compassion indeed. Remember, it's actually fine to be nervous while being with other people, and you don't have to be perfect to get involved with someone or do anything. Giving yourself a breather may probably not make one so uncomfortable and fun when spent with other people.

4. Take on Your Scaries Bit by Bit

Getting used to social scenarios is a solid tactic to tackle social nervousness. If you start with easy-going events and move to scarier ones, you'll gain some boldness and watch your fears shrink. Once you find yourself doing okay in these social settings, you'll see goof-ups aren't the end of the world, and bit by bit, the anxious vibes should start to slip away.

5. Stay in the Now

Fussing over what might go wrong tomorrow or facepalming about yesterday's blunders is typical of both aiming for flawlessness and feeling awkward. Mindfulness moves, like keeping your mind on what's happening right this second, are a big help with these jitters. Sticking to the present helps chill out the crazy thoughts that show up with trying to be perfect and dealing with social nerves.

Conclusion

Social anxiety teams up with perfectionism often cranking up how much they mess with each other. Get how they mix, and you start to smash that cycle finding better ways to deal. Maybe you go for therapy, learn to be kind to yourself, or you get used to hanging out with folks. Bit by bit, you can cut down on the worry and the gotta-be-perfect stuff. Hey, slipping up's cool, and not hitting perfection's alright too. Give it time, patience, and elbow grease, and handling social anxiety with perfectionism can be done making for a more chill and happy life.